NEVER SAY NEVER…BUT NEVER.
Twenty-six years old and getting divorced. That was a tough pill to swallow.
Now, four years later, I often get asked the question: ‘Will you get married again?’
I know I should never say never…but never.
It’s not that I don’t support marriage, I think it can be a great thing. I love a good wedding, but I am in no rush to do it all over again.
The year coming up to my wedding day was right up there with the year of my divorce as possibly the most expensive, stressful and emotional year of my life.
The strain the expenses and planning caused, not only on my relationship with my then fiancé, but with my friends and family just does not seem worth it. There were hurt feelings about the guest list and bickering over silly center pieces.
Anyone that knows me, knows I love planning a good party. But it is not just one party. There are engagement parties, wedding showers, rehearsal dinners, gift openings, brunches and beyond.
Honestly, do people even like going to these things? If they do, surely it is just for the free food and booze. I assure you it is not for the riveting games and party favours.
And when did bachelor and bachelorette parties turn into such an elaborate affair? What happened to a single night out at a bar? We’re now required to hold a valid passport and arrange a house sitter.
Do I sound cynical? I might be, but that’s what marriage (or divorce?) does to you.
In my current relationship, we happily live in a home we bought together, share a bank account and all that other grown-up couple stuff. We even talk about having children out of wedlock. (Gasp!)
The only difference? There is no piece of paper, I still have my own identity and we are not in debt due to an extremely costly party we were so stressed over planning, we forgot to even enjoy.
And technically, in the eyes of Canadian Law we are basically married anyways.
Now all that being said, don’t be surprised if the next thing you see is elopement photos on a tropical beach somewhere. Getting married does occasionally cross my mind.
I do want my future children to grow up with a healthy idea of marriage and not wonder why mommy and daddy never got married. Did we not love each other enough? It’s a tough question to answer when you have been married before.
It would also be rather convenient to have the same last name as the rest of my family and stop referring to the father of my children as my boyfriend.
Maybe we could even get one of those adorable signs in our front yard with our last name on it.
I guess I really should never say never. But as of right now, I am happily living in sin.